lucky, tumultuous girl.

06Aug08

The serenity that I felt a few days ago is completely gone. I’m filled with an inner turmoil that I don’t know how to reconcile. My time in New York City has been better than anything I’d ever imagined. I’ve fallen in love harder than I ever have before and I feel an overwhelming, tight bond to Him. I’m afraid I’ll never feel this again with anyone else. I don’t want to feel this again with anyone else. I want to stay with Him forever, come home to him after work or class and spend my nights wrapped in his arms where I’m safe and warm and loved.

I’m the luckiest girl in the world. He appreciates me and all I do for Him, and I obviously feel the same towards Him. He’s good to me. He takes care of me and He worries about my well-being and does all He can to make sure I’m happy. Anything one desires in a man, He has for me and gives it willingly.

I feel like a dumb school girl or like one of those teenagers I hated in high school, who’d change their plans and dreams to accommodate a guy. I constantly remind myself that the choices I’m making, I made long before I met Him. These dreams are mine and they happen to coincide with his. He’s an added bonus, but one I’m more than willing to consider as I formulate my life’s choices.

As the end of my summer quickly approaches, I can’t help but feel incredibly apprehensive about what this next year apart will bring. I don’t want to spend a day without him. I already ache inside and I’ve been pushing away these thoughts for weeks. Only now, I can’t run anymore. Soon enough, I’m going to be out of town, packed into a car as I drive down the East Coast and head back home.



4 Responses to “lucky, tumultuous girl.”

  1. A year apart? That is going to be tough, not a doubt about it. Of course, you already know that. I dearly wish that I had some pearls of wisdom to offer you, but never having been in a long-distance relationship of any kind, I fear I would end up sounding like a fool. I do feel for your plight however, and can only hope that you are able to come to some kind of peace with it. May I ask..is there any hope whatsoever of the two of you ever living in the same city, one day?

    Sending hugs your way…

  2. My dream city happens to be his home, and we share similar life ambitions so the odds are in our favor. That said, at this point, no one is planning anything and neither of us intends on changing our life for the other. So bottom line is, we’ll see.

  3. Hello, I have written up your blog on my new site. I’d be pleased if you would drop by and comment.

  4. This ain’t your ‘normal’ blog post, girl; our salvation lays within these very words if you’re wise enough to discern their nuanced metaphor — Greetings, earthling. Because I was an actual NDE on the outskirts of the Great Beyond at 15 yet wasn’t allowed in, lemme share with you what I actually know Seventh-Heaven’s gonna be like for us: meet this ultra-bombastic, ex-mortal-Upstairs for the most-extra-blatant-and-groovy, pleasure-beyond-measure, Ultra-Yummy-Reality-Addiction in the Great Beyond for a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy, eternal-warp-drive you DO NOT wanna miss the sink-your-teeth-in-the-smmmokin’-hot-deal. YES! For God, anything and everything and more! is possible!! Cya soon…


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