love is a paradox.

17Jul08

The staying power of this relationship is extraordinary. I stare at him from across the room and I’m overcome with lust. He touches me and I get butterflies and goosebumps and I melt. I remember a year ago, when he would lean over and kiss me and I would get hot and faint. I’d have to sit down immediately after or I’d fall over. He spent hours holding me and fucking me and every time was better than the previous.

And it still is.

I’m amazed. I find myself falling more and more in love with him and he’s not even trying. Or maybe he is and I’m unperceptive. I’m scared and excited. I don’t think I’ve ever been so in love. And it has a fucking expiration date which makes it worse and better.

I get that I’m being meta. I get that I’m over analyzing and barely making sense and somehow it doesn’t matter. This is what I feel, damnit. And it’s wonderful and it makes me want to scream and cry and hold him and never let go. Until I burn up or burn out. Whichever comes first.



4 Responses to “love is a paradox.”

  1. Like Dorothy Parker said – “Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.”

  2. SD, what have I missed? Why does it have an expiration date?

    Sure sounds to me like you’ve got it B-A-D!! Thats a good thing!

  3. 3 Ellie

    This is a lovely post. I hope you don’t reach your expiration date.

  4. There seems to be confusion. The expiration date is inevitable but luckily it’s still a month away. Just blocking it out until it sneaks up on us.


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