flicking beans.

14May08

I just made myself come three times with the tiniest, cutest little vibrator I’ve ever seen. (Check out my toys page and you’ll know which one I’m talking about.) I’m always really surprised by how much punch this little key chain packs, but I’m not complaining. It gives me some really pointed intense clitoral action, and since I’m working on strengthening my clit-gasm response it’s just what I need. I’m usually a penetration girl — I’ll take some g-spot grinding over anything else and I’ll enjoy every second of it. But there are times when I just want some simple rubbing.

It used to be that my clit was so sensitive that any decent amount of stimulation immediately sent me into overdrive and the whole region would quickly numb up. I don’t want to blame it on lack of skill. The same thing happened when either I or a partner tried their hand. I guess as I got older and got more comfortable with myself I lost that overwhelming sensitivity and had my first clitoral orgasm. Now it’s one of the finer pleasures of life. It’s a no-mess way to get myself off, which is perfect when I don’t feel like changing sheets or fetching a towel. And since I don’t yet have a dildo I like, it’s the easiest way to come without having to contort myself into strange positions and strain my shoulder muscles.

(I can add “Dildo” to my list of things to buy. Right under “Locking box to keep toys in.”)

I resisted masturbation for a very long time, and I’m still not completely sure why. I used to blame it on an abusive boyfriend who used to make me touch myself while on the phone with him — something that at 16 I was never comfortable with, especially living in my parents’ house where anyone could walk in or pick up the phone and eavesdrop.  That stuck with me for a long time, years after I’d dumped his ass and moved on. Slowly it translated into lack of interest, not in sex but in self-sexing. Having someone else there with me, touching me and enjoying my show was more than half the enjoyment of an orgasm. I didn’t take much pleasure in coming solo and never pushed it (mind the pun…). I found the process boring and tedious, and the quick onset of numbness didn’t help matters.

Somewhere along the way that sensitivity disappeared, and I learned that a well placed finger during sex could actually intensify things and keep me wet when my partner and I just weren’t jiving. The first time I licked a finger and pressed that dripping digit to my clit while a cock rammed into me changed sex forever. I was no longer left at the mercy of someone else pleasing me. Even the worst sex could result in a screaming orgasm if I just put a little of my own TLC into the mix. Solo masturbation was still a ways off in my future, but this epiphany was certainly the first step.

Then one day, at the urging of a lover for me to please myself in his absence, I dove into the sea of jilling off. I experimented with my body — finding my own soft and sensitive spots and playing with textures against my skin. I gave myself many different kinds of orgasms by varying pressure and location of my touch. Suddenly I was enjoying this act that I’d avoided for years! The pleasure of an orgasm didn’t have to be shared with anyone else. I could rub my clit or pound my g-spot by myself, simply because it felt good.

Nights like tonight, I’m really glad I got this over with at a younger age. When horniness flows through my veins and a lover is no where to be found. Or even better — when I don’t even want to start to look for one. I can turn down the lights, read some erotica, sip some wine and slide my hand inside my panties without even thinking twice about that missing male. Like I said — life’s simple pleasures.



2 Responses to “flicking beans.”

  1. 1 GorgeousSexyVixen

    That must be one strong ass key chain

  2. How lucky are you that you have more g-spot orgasms than clit orgasms. I read somewhere that 30-75% of all female cannot have g spot orgasms. You’re lucky, kid. And sexy. I like the visual images you portrayed at the end….


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